Here’s how it works. Get your drinks, womyn, (preferably something RED like the hot blood that tempts Edward’s sparkling ice cold wiener during his darkest midnight cravings - i.e. red wine, caesars, bloody marys, etc.), and raise them in a toast to all things feminine WHEN EVER:
1. There is a lingering shot of Edward’s WATCHFUL amber eyes, brimming full of bloodlust and hard-earned self-control. (THE EYES)
2. Bella demonstrates in thought, deed, or word, her intention to give up her interests/personality/friends/family/sense of self/actual life to be with/near/adjacent to Edward. (SACRIFICE)
3. You see blood. Is it a rich, life-giving symbol of feminine power OR is it the root of all sin and temptation for these poor vampires who can’t help but be tempted by it? WE DRINK. (BLOOD)
4. Sparkles make an appearance. (SPARKLES)
5. Vamps use their Magical, extra-vamperical abilities, i.e. Mind-reading, precognition, emotional manipulation or whatever Jasper’s stupid power is. (MAGIC)
6. The Dialogue completely jumps the shark of badness with the words of illiteracy. This is decided on the spot: Nominatress yells SHARK! and those in agreement drink, those in disagreement say “Wait for it”, and they do. A group decision is unnecessary since each woman gets to chose for herself what she does with her body. Such as filling it with alcohol. (SHARK)
7. Bella trips, bites her lip, or otherwise displays the behaviours of helplessness. As we drink, we encourage her future empowerment with a hearty, “BUCK UP, GIRL!” (LIP/TRIP)
8. Edward orders Bella to do something rather than asking, proposing or discussing (this is usually done in the name of her safety, therefore SO VERY JUSTIFIED). We drink in mourning and protest. (ORDER)
9. When it all just gets so stupid there is nothing left to do but throw up your hands and what? DRINK. That’s what. (TOO STUPID)
The bracketed words are what we can shout to indicate a drinking moment has occurred.
I think of these rules as more of a living document; add and subtract as you see fit. Send in pictures of your FTDG and any rule variations that worked well to firstname.lastname@example.org
TEEN/SOBRIETY EDIT: If you are under the legal drinking age/any age and sober but want to take part, here are a few variations:
FTDG Clothing Pile-up Edition: All participants bring all of their dress up or play clothes (scarves, hats, gloves, muumuus, old bras, funny stuff…). Put all of the clothes in a big heap. Whenever someone shouts, reach in and whatever you grab, goes on! Shirt doesn’t fit? Put it on your head! Whenever you get too sweaty, take it all off and start again, or work backwards!
FTDG Outdoor Summer Edition: Put filled water balloons in your shirt and pants. At the end of the movie, mosh with your friends.